Our lives begin in an effortless state of lovability.  Infants are irresistibly lovable to their parents.  But then, as we grow up, our angelic natures fade.  Hormones and hardships change us for better and worse, but life inevitably diminishes our unqualified lovability.  Fortunately, cultivating lovability can be as doable as cultivating a beautiful garden that will attract the attention of other garden lovers. The first secret to becoming more lovable is to be love-able.  Being able to love is a much bigger deal than simply being in love.  Being in love is not what makes us lovable.  Being able to

Mainstream psychology lacks a paradigm for actually healing the mind.  It needs one. It’s easy for psychologists in Western civilization to assume that we understand more about human nature and how to improve mental health than pre-modern societies.  Having the most sophisticated scientific methods providing a backbone of validity and credibility on matters of human nature gives us confidence in our paradigm of mental health, so much so that we scarcely consider its limitations.  There’s a myopic arrogance in this perspective, and if Western psychology cares to be the preeminent authority on mental health in the eyes of the world,

Few people realize that health and healing are all about becoming more whole. When the body falls apart, its health falls apart. The same is true for the mind. That’s right – sometimes the mind doesn’t develop into an integrated state in the first place or it’s wholeness gets broken apart by hardships and traumas of life. Most people don’t understand what “wholeness of mind” actually means or how to restore it once it becomes divided. But it’s not difficult to understand, so I’ll explain. In many ways, the subconscious mind is just like a family. Consider a family of

The first secret to healing your mind is to know that it is actually possible. This shouldn’t be a secret at all, but most people don’t realize their minds can heal. Healing is a word that psychologists rarely use. In fact, the word “healing” isn’t even in the lexicon of our education or training. Instead of healing people, we are taught how to treat conditions, usually targeting specific symptoms or behavioral dysfunctions. But the distinctions between treating and healing are meaningful in terms of their depth and permanence. Though most therapists are not trained to heal, there are models for

How well do you think you know yourself? You may have to think again because, in truth, personal identity is much more complicated than most people understand. Who you are is much more than your name, age, family status, education, occupation, ethnicity, skin color, sexual orientation, religion, or any other demographic. It includes your personality as well as your different moods. You also have to take into consideration the different ways you present yourself in diverse environments—like home, school, work, church, around relatives, at parties, and even in the bedroom. These are all aspects of your identity. And there’s more